My dream
by deeplydesturbed Dec 7, 2006
|
Hello... I'm tired and sick and my blood is on the floor... i feel my skin being ripped from my body as these night monsters attack... i wish they would hurry up and kill me... slit my neck... break my bones.. anything that i can die from... my skin needs to tear and rip and bleed... i need to let out my screams.. my cry for help from the devil... i need to die... but i cant... i need to wake up.. to be set free... my mind is taking over my body... i can feel the torture, even though i know its not real... what is happening to me... I'm happy... i met a friend who actually cares... why am i still feeling like this??? i shouldn't be... i need freedom.. I'm tired of being locked up in a house all day being watched... i need to get out... help me 2 escape.. if these Monsters eat me i will die, but i cant leave the people i care about behind... i will miss them... i cant leave.. then i wake up and realize it was all a dream... |
Did You Like This Poem?
Latest Comments
-
7 years ago
by Mark
Dear Nams, to begin to understand who someone is - it help to go back and find where they've been. It seems 2006 was a tough time for you - this piece provides a glimpse at dark times gone by.
No comments to this piece, so I thought It would be nice to write an extended comment.
It seems like a free verse poem - retelling a dream. I find the title compelling and urging me to find out more. The very first word 'hello' to me this seems like a cry for someone to care and read your poem. Distract you from the sorrow. :(
The first floor lines indicate some dream of self harm - with 'Blood on the floor' and 'skin ripped'. The 'night monsters' may refer to both insomnia and also the monsters inside your head....such as depression
Then you describe ways to die in this dream, any way - but just wished death.
"i can feel the torture, even though i know its not real... what is happening to me.."
Above statement indicates you are aware that your in a dream. I've experienced this on rare occasion, as if consciously you can think or act in a dream.
The feeling I get is you are going through a mentally difficult time or foresee that you are about to back then, and the emotions are creeping into your dream.
You further mention a friend who cares, Im sure if at that time such a friend existed? A great poem leaves room for interpretation... So well done.
The monsters appear again, I wonder now if they're external and internal monsters. Further point to being watched and a prisoner in your home. Could be a reference to social isolation.... Depression?
The ending you wake up and it was all a dream.
Powerful piece Nam's. It makes me wish I was on pnq to offer you some friendly words and maybe some comfort....dream or not.
Only potential improvement I could suggest is the format...which you know all to well now. Take the first for lines, I'll attempt to reformat them for fun
Hello. I'm tired and sick and my blood is on the floor
I feel my skin being ripped from my body
As these night monsters attack
But I like the original format...gives it an eerie feel. Many hugs to you Nams-
7 years ago
MArky Mark - thank you.
I have gone back through and thought of editing this and the layout - but decided to leave as is.. only so I can see how far my writing has improved while being on this site...
Its something i like to see...
thank you once again for the detailed comment :)
-
