Unwanted space

by ashley   Dec 8, 2006


Your always in my mind-my heart i cant stop thinking of you
my parents dont want me with ya and our shared love they have no clue

i loved waking up and seeing your light blue eyes staring deeply in mine
my heart would jump and my face would happily shine

you said no matter what we will be together
well I'm still here and we haven't ran into any good weather

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Latest Comments

  • 17 years ago

    by brianna

    OH MY GOSH!! i love it, i have the same thing going on!! good job :D

  • 17 years ago

    by Shae

    Short...but good!! I love all of your poems anyways!! =D 5/5

    ~Shae

  • 17 years ago

    by steve

    Ive had relationships where the parents get in the way, for some reason they dont get that ur partner is supposed to make you happy not them....Im from NW indiana

  • 17 years ago

    by Jessica

    This was good but I found your rhymes were a little awkward. For example, the last one feels like you just used that line because it rhymed. It does not acutally make that much sense in context. Also, I think you should correct your spelling errors or slang terms such as "ya". Another thing I think would improve it is trying not to use words such as "he, she, it, they" and try to use more complex vocabulary. For example, there are so many other ways you could say "seeing". Keep up the good work hun 4/5

  • 17 years ago

    by elliianna

    Hey good poem and i read your coments and i wasted to tall you thank you ill prally talk to u throught this thing ...the comments thing so ya but i im 14 today im so happy december 14th :) well ill keep reading your stuff i will try to post more stuff soon i have mostly quotes right now but thanks

    ~anna~

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