Feeling, Living, Bleeding, Crying

All that's left of yesterday
Are full of smiles that fade away
All the laughs that were never to leave
Have left me now with nothing to believe
A pain that surges straight through my chest
All this worry making me stress
Nothing feels real, nothing feels correct
Given instructions to be okay but they cannot be direct
Walking outside staring up into the sky
What is the reason I am here, why do I always ask why

Feeling what isn't real
Living just to heal
Bleeding just to feel
Crying just to deal

With pain that never goes away
Stuck in my heart through night and day
Captivated by my enemy's
Surrounded by demons all waiting to take me
To drag me away from the one that loves me enough to aid
To push and pull and fight the one who is not afraid
All alone then I saw the light
Cowering behind a mask of delight
I fooled everyone but my angel who's there for me when skies are gray
To help me and always have something to say

Feeling what isn't real
Living just to heal
Bleeding just to feel
Crying just to deal

Never thought I'd find a friend that could care so much
Never thought I'd find a reason to die for a touch
I miss her with not seeing her after a few hours
Around her I can be myself, I don't have to act like I have supernatural powers
Slowly I'm arriving to a point where any pain she can wipe away
Happiness floods around me everyday
Then she's gone and I feel so alone
Don't even feel right when I'm home
For I'm not home without my best friend by my side
Because without her all I know is how to hide

I'm feeling something weird, something not quite right
Living to be with her, to help her gain her sight
Bleeding to know that I'm still alive and here
Crying because I'm lost in fear

Feeling what isn't real
Living just to heal
Bleeding just to feel
Crying just to deal

I'm terrified I'll lose her, scared she may just up and leave
And if she's gone what will I have left to believe
I had promised myself not to get to close to anyone
Because I know what happens when people are in it just for fun
They take your friendship, your trust, body, mind and soul
And twist it all so you've lost all self control
And if that happens to me again I will not be around for a third round
You can just leave me to rot six feet underground
Because I will not endure losing another friend
Because I can not survive that pain again

Copyright, Taylor Brown, 2006-05-02