I\'m so big on revenge..
but why do i feel so wrong for wanting revenge on u?
maybe that one hope that one day things will get better?
that one hope that this time it will be different?
because that last tear is always for you?
my last thought is always for you?
trying to change myself so maybe you\'ll notice?
trying to change who I AM.
trying to be someone I\'m NOT.
hiding my secrets of pain so i wont cause more stress on mom?
trying to forget what you did to me, so maybe i can try harder?
but at the same time...
i remember what you did,
i remember you promising it wouldn\'t happen again, when it happened OVER AND OVER again.
i remember feeling ashamed,
feeling that it was MY FAULT! when in reality none of the blame should have been on me!!
telling myself \"i hate you i hate you i hate you\"
but when i look at you in the face its \"i love you i love i love you\"
yes I\'m weak! I\'m strong but one look at you, or one sound of your voice turns me into a weak little puppy, & i crawl back KNOWING in the back of my mind that you will NEVER CHANGE!!!!!
so..
i smash your truck, destroy your shop, get rid of that \"weed\" that sickened me, take every bit of your \"money\" and rip it into pieces, write all over everything that i demolished saying \"do u love me now?\", \"revenge\" , \"Carma\",\"do you care now???\"
&& once I\'m finished I\'m satisfied, HAPPY because i got revenge on you?? but it still isn\'t good enough because nothing i could ever do will get me EVEN WITH YOU! it could be accomplished..yes it could..but i DON\'T WANT TO BE LIKE YOU! thats the whole point! i will NEVER be like you!!
and when I\'m done with my \"revenge\"
I\'m not happy, i feel terrible for what i did..
because why?
why should I FEEL terrible when YOU caused me all that pain over years and years and years??
why should i feel sympathy for you when you never cared anyways..so WHY should I CARE???
tell me why,
tell me why do i love you....after all you have done to me?
tell me why,
i want to know why, do i care?
yeah, i may say I\'ll \"never be you, never be like you, & thats why i care.\" no its not..
just because i wont ever \"be\" like you, should make me HATE you, thats why i don\'t understand it..
just please tell me why you \"say\" you love me,
i want to know, so please tell me why i still love you...
