I am without hope

I am without hope
Lost it so many years ago
I sit and wait and pray
To find some pride and strength inside
I release all my boiling hate
It is like a sharp blade
It cuts and stabs everything insight
As I crawl in my man made hell in my mind
I dream to leave this broken life
The shame is so strong, I hide and cry
Everyday I die
I wish to lose my hate and rage
But it seems it all I have left inside
I am lost without it
It is the only thing that remembers her
Every thing great has already died
If I lose my hate
I may forget her face
And I think that just might final kill me inside
I dream of her
I talk to her
I wake I think I have
I shake with fear
As my only wish in my life was to love her till the day I die
Instead I must leave with my hate
I will always remember her
When I die I will think of her
And hope god can understand my love for her
As I wish to spend some time with her on the other side