My Head Is spinning

My Head Is spinning

My head is spinning round and round
As I sit here on the ground
Trying so hard to resist
But then I place this blade against my wrist
Holding on, closing my eyes
Letting go of my silent cries
Tears fall down my cheek
Energy draining I'm so weak
Old scars start to fade
Only to be cover by new marks from the blade
Hidden beneath the disguise
Hoping no one will see through these lies
Reaching out but no ones there
Holding back because no one will care
Lie after lie, day after day
What can I do to make it all go away?
Cant even tell them what I'm really thinking
Cant even tell them why my heart is sinking
Cant even tell them about my need
Why I have to use this blade to bleed
I cant bring myself to tell them all
Why I struggle and fall
Cant bring myself to say
I need help, please make it go away
Cant tell them I use this blade
To help my pain fade
Cant tell them how I really feel
Cant tell them anything thats real
Holding back, to scared of what they'll say
Will it be OK, or will they send me away
Lie after lie, another day of having to hide
Burying this pain deep inside
Another day comes and goes
Hiding this secret that no one knows