Untitled emotions

This isn\'t really a poem;it\'s just something I need to get off my chest. lately, i\'ve been a total mess. and i just wanna write if off, since i don\'t feel like talking it off. well...why is that whenever you get really close to a person, and u get secure that they\'re totally okay and stuff; that you realize they\'re just fakes, also? why is that as soon as i was moving on, you have to lose yourself again? it was really hard for me to get over this, and i REALLY don\'t want to have to start all over again. i dont think you truly understand just what your doing to me. i dont think that you know im acting nonstop, 24/7. if you did know that, i doubt youd be like this. b/c i know that your a really really good person, and i THOUGHT i knew who you really were. but i guess i dont. and i guess i never will. and its kinda tearing me up to pieces, that i\'ll never know you, and that you\'ll never really know me. i guess that\'s just another thing we have in common though. but nobody knows....not even you.
and well...
i just miss you. and i want you to get better and i want you to open up to me and i want to be able to open up to you. b/c i love you. but its horrible, because i sorta want somebody to ask me if everything is okay, instead of taking my smile for granted. and when im NOT smiling, i dont want to be made fun of or called \"emo,\" i wanted to be cared for and worried over. and its REALLY frustrating, b/c that makes me sound like a horrible person who isn\'t humble at all or anything. but i have just never really felt anything like this and it\'s killing me inside, but somehow i always manage to force a smile.
but i want to stop forcing on fake smiles- just for a while.
and well i want you to get better and talk to me and stuff and i just want...
idk what i want, really. i guess i just want for this to stop. and well i guess i should stop writing, also...
so yeah. sorry if this wasted ur time lol but ive been dying to say it...and yeah.