Last Breath

THIS IS REALLY GOOD!!! keep on writing! and keep me posted for any new stuff!!!

Very good gurl :D good thing you're not dead coz that would mean you couldn't write any more great sad poems like that ;) .. oh and please do not think about changing anything to your poem.. first: I think its very coky of dem ppl who want to change it .. Second: ITS YOUR POEM AND YOUR WORDS, They may not be changed!

I really like this especially the first two stanzas were great.

I have a couple suggestions for the purpose of flow:

Instead of:

"Took a razor, put it to my skin,
Finally committed my final sin.
Wrote a note in the blood that did pour,
Aware that there will be no future in store.

This is the finale, yesterday is passed,
I was always bullied, and picked last.
This is the end. This is my last breath.
I have brought upon my own silent death."

How about :

Took a razor, and put it to my skin,
I Finally committed the ultimate sin.
Wrote a note in the blood that came to pour,
Aware that there would be no future in store.

This is the finale, yesterday's passed,
I was always bullied, the one picked last.
This is the end. I take my last breath.
I have brought upon my own silent death.
You do not have to take my suggestions of course, I just thought the last two stanzas were off in flow a bit. I still really like the poem, you did a great job.I still give you a 5/5.

I loved this...
I thought the flow and rhyme scheme worked really well, and the imagery was excellent.
very well written.

Amazing you are soo talented. keep it up!