Too Young.

by Teria   Dec 14, 2006


Too Young.

Too young to be fatherless.
Too young for life to be a mess.
Too young to be weak in the mind.
Too young to lose what you never did find.

He's too young for all of this.
No one knows how empty he is.
Not realizing the reality of his dreams.
And, not realizing how far they seem.

Broken and torn just at 11,
slowly making his way to heaven.
Yet, too young for all of this,
How dearly him I shall miss.

My little brother shattered to pieces.
My chance of helping dramatically decreases.
Searching for help, hope, faith and love.
As he drifts off to heaven above.

His soul has been taken but his mind..
still drifts. Harder for him to find..
That he is now fatherless.
And, he's too young for all of this.

    report violation
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Latest Comments

  • 17 years ago

    by Choose xX Alex Xx Life

    Damn such a sad poem, it made me feel glad for whati had and that wasgood messege to send out to your audience hun well done.

    xxx alex xxx

  • 17 years ago

    by ephemera

    Wow. That was a powerful poem. Absolutely beautiful and sad. I almost cried because I could picture this boy really well in my mind with the images you created. Your writing is truly wonderful.

  • 17 years ago

    by BECCA lessTHANthree

    The ending was spectacular.. very strong without seeming as if your tried to hard.. the perfect balance of perfection...

    the first lines of the first two stanzas do not rhyme by sound only by spelling... which is okay. However, at the third stanza and from there on you rhymed the first two lines by sound and not by spelling... it threw off the flow a little

    you make a strong point of your brother being too young in the way you repeat "Too young" in the start of the first four lines which helps add to the perfection of the ending

    overall a carefully written poem that shows thought and care for getting your emotions across exactly how you feel them

  • 17 years ago

    by IdTakeABulletForYou

    Slowly making his way to heaven. = I strongly suggest changing this to : slowly making his way towards heaven.

    My little brother shattered to pieces. = My little brother, shattered to pieces.

    It was sort of hard to follow but i could tell that it was written from the heart. The flow was sketchy, and it rhymed but forcibly at times. I still enjoyed it and it seems that the beggining was better than the end. I suggest you challenge yourself and you write this poem over again... Who knows, maybe you will like the new version better.

    5/5
    ~Stephen White

  • 17 years ago

    by Munequita

    I love dis poem its gd...thanx 4 commenting mine

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