This is a excellent poem with a very strong message! You seem to have a wisdom beyond your years! Excellent job!

Aw man that was powerful dnt really read 'dark poems'. lot meaning to this one but. well done. xx

Omg, this is soo good and the imagery is perfect! I love this poem! Yeah, me and my sister have a pretty tight bond and though we always get into fights over everything, we always get over them! Great poem sweetie!
xoxo

Good job! Liked your little note at the bottom to say no to drugs. That was a good way to end it. I like too how you show that because things went wrong she started up, but that goes to show that when it gets hard you need to get tough, not give up!
Charisma*

Thats damn good gurl. Keep up with your writing youve got something going for you!

I love this poem!
the last stanza is what gives me the best image of whats happening!
i love it!
5/5
xoxo-am

Aw, this poem is so sad in some way lol i liked the message in the end kids, dont do drugs or sumthing lol made me laugh lol, well i like this poem and its true about drugs.
good stuff!!
xoxroxyxox
great poem dude lol

Aw, this poem is so sad in some way lol i liked the message in the end kids, dont do drugs or sumthing lol made me laugh lol, well i like this poem and its true about drugs.
good stuff!!
xoxroxyxox
great poem dude lol

Woah... this is another one of great works... you're one of my favorite writers... And yes... We should say no to drugs.. not only kids... But everyone should... problems can't be solved by drugs... only we can solve our own problem's with God's guidance... =) LoveLots..

I mean *another one of your great works...*

Sad thing is for some of us our only outlet is drugs to fight the pain. i've been there with alcohol. very telling write. done beautifully with few words. 5/5

This poem has many secret meanings to it am i right your telling her something you wanted her to understand how you feel. your really good
keep writing

We-oww. xD Nicely written.
Dark-ish, sad... and something in between.

PS. Drugs suck, they smell bad. I dont wanna smell like that! Gross.

This reminded me of a very good friend of mine, well done.

I love it! Its very well written.
Would you mind commenting some of mine?
I give it a 4.5

After reading you poems, i realize how easy it is to write on whatever comes in mind...but when i try the same...i end up taking few weeks and then after posting one...i feel so disgusted regarding my skill.

u r simply great....

i know i m a very slow person...in posting as well as commenting, plz xuse me for that... ;o)

all the best and take care

Loved it. unfortunatly, its probably too late for most people reading it. it is a very strong message.

Loved it. unfortunatly, its probably too late for most people reading it. it is a very strong message.

Luv da poem

An effective piece. You have structured it well and made use of extended vocabulary and some repetition. Though, to improve I would suggest finding an alternative for this line in particular:

"She had the perfect boyfriend
Perfect job and perfect friends"

I know the point you are trying to make, but the use of repetition is perhaps not as good as your beginning:

"Though she knows it isn't right
Every day's another battle
Every day's another fight".

Explore different ways in which you can express how the girl had the 'perfect' life but through it away in ignorance due to drugs as you say.

Overall, good stuff dude! ;)

-Elysium.