God...are you listening?

God, Mommom, anyone who cares
I know its probably too late
I'm not a saint you know
But all I'm asking is that you help me
As I sit here bleeding from my fingers and my heart
Theres a guy that I love with all my soul
You know that as well as I
Please tell me, why cant i just change?
God, you know I'd do anything to be with him
But sometimes i go psycho and don't know why
God, I"m gonna need your help right now
To keep me from tonight ending my life
I need you to do something for me, god
As I press this shiny blade against my skin
I don't want to do this, I'm not this weak
But without a prospect of him I am nothing
He keeps saying I'm ruining my chances
But for some reason I just cant stop
I wake every morning at the mercy of him
And what he's going to do today
It's not supposed to be like this
We're supposed to be together for all our lives
It seems like now my life is nothing
My soul like my heart is battered and bruised
God, Mommom, I'm not asking for him
I'm simply asking for help, if its him or not
God, I'm not asking for a savior from his memory
I'm asking for a savior simply from myself.