Dont belong

Everything is my freaking fault..
i can't get anything right
i tend to get everyone into fight
i try hard to avoid it,
but even a mere word of mine
can throw out a meaningless fit
and there isn't that plenty of those crimes
forever can i go along and afford it.

How much of the tick-tocking is there left undone?
Would i still be able to greet my next dawn..
or next hour..
next minutes..
even next seconds..wouldn't really matter.

but how would i ever know..
i really don't want it to be so...
But i just can't get much of my life right
Everyone sought to get me rid from their sight..
i try hard to ignore it..
it try hard to go on with it..
But why can't i have just one soft whisper
Just once that'll lift my heart..i wont forget..

Maybe i just don't belong
in the world i had always longed
Maybe i shouldn't escape..
Maybe i shouldn't sigh..
Maybe i would just
just go
Out of this misery, this catastrophe..

No..this isn't where i belong
Maybe you won't notice the empty seat
so what's left there that'll miss..
miss such and invisible little lady
no..
no one would...

just me convincing myself
soothing myself
that maybe..one day...
some one just might

*felt so much better when i let it out..i didn't even need to shout..
i just kept quiet and cried to myself