Thinking of you

by Sandra D   Dec 17, 2006


Would it be okay if I tell you how I feel?
Would it be okay if I think this is real?
Would it be okay if I love you and treat you with respect?
Would it be okay if I tell you you're perfect?
Would it be okay if I give you a big hug everyday?
Would it be okay if I hold your hand while we walk away?
Would it be okay if I give you my heart?
Would it be okay if I cry if we ever part?
Would it be okay if I want to kiss you?
Would it be okay if I say I'll always be true?
Would it be okay if I just need some time to grow?
Would it be okay if I want to take things a little slow?

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Latest Comments

  • 17 years ago

    by Tricky Daze

    So brain tickling but it's emotional,keep up the good work

  • 17 years ago

    by ShootingStar179

    3/5

    Sorry but it was too repetitive. I ended up just skipping all the "Would it be okay"s. It was just too much. It is not appealing at all like that for the eyes. Try using the Would it be okay part on the first line and then either deleting all the others, or have different stanzas and having that in the first line of each stanza.

  • 17 years ago

    by Wings Of Flames

    3.5

    It seemed a bit jumbled. the rhythm was broken. But the words weren't all too bad.

    thanks
    - Em

  • 17 years ago

    by BECCA lessTHANthree

    I like this poem a lot.. the only critique i have is that.. the end isnt really final.. the questions are all random even though they rhyme.. i would try and work on another line with a question thats a little more final.. lol idk if your getting what im saying at all but i cant really explain it anymore than this.. lol

  • 17 years ago

    by lala

    I really enjoyed reading this poem :]

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