Hey doll,
okay your on the right track.
Some of your rhymes are too forced tho and they don't sound like the right rhymes, trying widening your vocabulary and picking different words for those parts or something. Your sentence's very length so one is too short and one is to long their flow the rythem and flow is a bit off. You've got alot of stuff in your poem that has already been wrote about so i suggest you add your own little pazzaz( or w.e haha) to it.. make it yours and make it come alive, make the reader want to keep reading write lines that they wont be able to forget. Again the vocabulary can help there too.

Later darling.
good luck.

P.s i no what it's like to have body issue's i have alot it's really hard.
I would appretiate it if you checked out my poem about anorexia.
Her disease.
Thanks:)