Razor blade kisses

I stand in my playground of hate....
Looking at my reflection clenching my fists in preparation for my fury..
I wish I knew why I felt this way....I wish I could climb out of this hole I am in..
My fingers bleeding and sore..nails damaged from my frantic attempts to grip on and climb over the edge.

I cry black tears that match my increasing dark mood....I hate me and I don't blame you one bit..
The feeling of complete despair weighs heavy on my fragile mind..
Have I been forgotten or just misplaced....as I hope to be found I can do nothing but slide deeper in and further away from you.

The pain of a million razor cuts on my arm....sting as the air hits their cherry coloured smile....
I wipe the blood away before in congeals and run my fingers across my weeping new body art....
Punished for my own mental flaws and physical betrayal as I run the razors edge over my pulsating veins again..

A solitary tear greets my cheek...
My heart sinks low, can I sink lower?
My playground is empty as I sit on the swings...pushing off the sand with both feet ,I close my eyes to feel the rush..
Self made rivers of blood slowly travel down my glowing arm to my finger tips..falling off to the ground in slow motion..

Inside I cry wanting to be re assembled.....but wary of help.
I know I cant go on like this for much longer....my distorted pain filled arm reminds me of this..as I let out a sigh..my lip quivers and I'm all but gone...
I rub my dead eyes with my fists and ask myself, I worth fixing at all..?