Do you?

by Rachel RTVW   Dec 18, 2006


Do you hear the beating, of my lonely heart?
It always leads me back to you, whenever we're apart.
Do you see that missing you, is killing me inside?
The pain that's always felt by someone, when families divide.

Do you smell the roses now, even though they're dead?
They might as well be gone now, like everything you said.
Do you taste the tears, running down my face?
They've been flowing right towards you, since someone took my place.

Do you feel the warm caress, that you and I once shared?
Do you even remember, a time when you once cared?

Copyright©2006 Rachel Barnett

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Latest Comments

  • 17 years ago

    by twisted reality

    Hmm...

    I thought a lot of the rhymes seemed to be cliche and overused and stuff. And some of the lines seemed to be too long for others. Don't try to cram everything in into one line. Let the words flow from your head to the pen to the paper.

    Although there were minor mistakes, I did rather enjoy the poem. It gave me a lingering sad feeling left when I had finished it. It was also a cliche topic, so that may be it too. But you handled a cliche topic well. Keep writing. =) 5/5 xoxo

    Samantha

    Samantha

  • 17 years ago

    by Tara Kay

    So much sadness and emotion within your words.
    keep writing,
    much love, Tara-Kay

  • 17 years ago

    by BECCA lessTHANthree

    Aww... this is soo sad.. but woah.. written beautifully.. i love how every stanza is like a question.. and wow.. idk i just love this poem.. its my favorite out of all the ones i've read.. ncie job!!

    and ilove this line

    "Do you even remember, a time when you once cared?"

  • 17 years ago

    by Tainted Beauty

    Aww, this almost brought tears to my eyes, great work. I loved the rhymes and the emotion, and the topic was so broad that most anyone could relate to this piece of work.

    Absolutely brilliant.

    --Steph

  • 17 years ago

    by Bryan

    I like the repeativeness, great poem rachel, i give it a 5, keep making them this good!!!!

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