Endeavoring love, great topic and you pulled it off flawlessly, i agree with kristens comment and i see you made the changes, the flow was fantastc

Well.. the flow was horrible.. as was the depth. The emotion was alright.. and I had to make myself read it. Cheers.

I thought this was sweet.
I enjoyed the imagery again, but I still thought that the flow was shaky in places.
Keep working on that, and you'll make your work heaps better.
xx