What happend to peace @ xmas

Once upon a time Christmas was a happy time in my family
things were always peaceful and there was the offer of help....

then the winds of change arrived
grandmother died
parents argued
the next Xmas a new addition my second cousin
things grew complicated
mum got cancer dad falls ill

this year nothing but anger and fighting
everything is my responsibility
all of a sudden i have to organize Christmas lunch for 8 as well as everything else i do on the day
all hell is about to break lose
with no refuge in sight

stress levels through the roof
tension everywhere around me
pain running through the mind and body yet that cant stop me
i have to do it all if things are to happen....

then maybe i can run somewhere that i can be at peace for at least part of Christmas before all hell breaks lose again

this story wont have a happy ending until I'm gone.... cuz these tears aren't doing me any good. i just want happiness and peace for at least one day