Slipping, Slitting

I'm slowly slipping out of reality
It feels so different so far away
So free and distant without anyone
Yelling or crying, without pain and tears

With the joy of this I do it again
Pain makes me happy while I try
To stand to put on the mask again
The mask you think is me

My reality is my one weakness
My reality is my one pet peeve
Slipping out of reality
And slitting my wrists

My fantasy makes me happy
It does not make me proud
For I know this is wrong
Yet my mind says it so right

My reality leaves every now and then
And I slip and slit when it does
I struggle to get back struggle to go back
When I finally am home I remember all I wanted gone

All that I left for floods back to me
I lie back down and wish there
Was never that knock on my door
That made it go away, but hopefully not for long