Living This Moment

I don't really know what's written in my future
I don't really care how things will be
If you were living it how I was then
You would know the feelings, the intensity

Didn't think that once again I could have lived through this
Because often over all that I did reminisce
Blood rushing through my veins came to a halt
When all that of the past seemed to somersault

Those days when I took everything for granted
Every moment I enjoyed would be for then
But when changes came too fast and I finally realised
I stopped and saw a moment for never again

I thought maybe one day the ugliness would pass
And at one moment I thought it had
But still I wanted all my happy times to last
But those times are back and it's driving me mad

I thought I'd live these moments with integrity
When even when I'm happy it's dishonesty
With myself and the people that care for me
I block away from what they say and disagree

Now guilty is the one thing I can ever be
I'll just screw up all this hate and enmity
Now I'll take what I've learnt as an ailment
And be living all I can of this moment

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