Fulfilling Nightmare

I wrote this originally one night when grieving a great loss and stuck it on bebo.I figured it should stay on here instead too so i dont forget.

When everything turns to black,
And I wonder if I'll wake up,
Things seem to be lost,
Things seem to disappear,
Things seem to become a blur,
The room spinning,
My thoughts lost in their track,
I'm seconds away from getting up,
My past full of the cost,
The last few weeks a bitter smear,
I see him sitting in that chair right there,
But this is a new beginning,
No turning back,
Failing in a brutal honesty to keep my chin up,
My plans dashed with a savage blow,
I hold everything dear,
But too tired to care,
Filled with a venomous sting,
I'm facing the flack,
In a way I've never had to know,
No longer full of fear,
Changed through a reckless tear,
I'm bringing a new beginning,
Filling a world with white when it's clearly black,
All the wounds begin to glow,
But with this tragic year,
I'll push through it like a fulfilling nightmare,
To the end,
Waiting to wake up,
From this fulfilling nightmare...