A nightmare or not

Rusty metal piercing my skin.
My muscles begin to tighten.
I hold in my screams and close my eyes
As I push harder...hoping to pinch a nerve.

Success

I open my eyes.
Who would have known that one tiny cut
Would make this big of a mess all over the bathroom
Floor?
Where did all this blood come from?

I look down,
That was no tiny cut,
my whole wrist has been cut open.
Too late to say you're sorry now.
I can't stop the bleeding; i'm not even bothering to try..

So now what do I do?
Just lay here and wait for someone to come find me.
But everyone is asleep.

An hour goes by and my body has gone numb.
I can't feel a thing; the loss of blood is making me light-headed.
It won't be long before I fall asleep myself.

The next morning I woke up in my bed.
What a nightmare.
I look out the window,
What are all these people doing here?
And why are they all crying?

"Mama, what's going on?"I say.
You must have not heard me; fore you did not turn around.
"Mama.." I tap your shoulder.
You turn around so fast as if you've seen a ghost.
You can't see me can you?

Oh God, what happened? That wasn't a dream was it?
I run down the hall towards the bathroom,
I see the paramedics standing around something with my mom.

Looked closer...
It was ME!
"i'm sorry, it seems she's
been here all night; suicide.."I
heard him say.

Oh shit, I really did it this time.