Illusions

Is it really me? Or, just an illusion you see?

Am I real when I pretend to smile?
Even though I want to cry?
Or is that just an illusion?

Am I real when I pretend to laugh?
When inside I want to die
Or is that just a mask?

Am I real when I try to look happy?
Even though I am torn inside?
Or is that just me, pretending?

Am I real when I pretend to have no secrets?
Even though I do?
Or is that just an act?

Am I real when I pretend that suicide is far from my mind?
Even though I think about that the most?
Or am I just a good actor?

Am I real when I pretend your words don’t faze me?
When it is really killing me?
Or maybe, reality just hurts too much?