Internal Suicide

Sweet sweet relief,
let me count the ways.
Go without food,
starve myself for days.
Drink some vodka,
drink a lot.
Pass out drunk,
right on the spot.
Grab a razor,
make a deep slash.
Watch the blood,
pour out from the gash.
Drag my cigarette
across my skin.
Feel the burn
go deep within.
Get my xanax,
take more than I should.
Tension goes away,
now I feel good.
Search desperately
for another kind of pill.
Anything to numb me,
to make my mind stand still.
And while these things
are destroying me,
they're relieving the pain
and setting me free.
Although my body goes on living,
I am dead inside.
For I am slowly committing
internal suicide.