Two love poems!

by Tim   Dec 24, 2006


Here are two poems that I've written for a certain someone... One I wrote a couple of months ago, and the other I've just finished. Tell me what you think.

---

1)

I've seen the way you look, and stare,
like all you want is me.
But really when you think about it,
do you honestly think we're meant to be?

For a long time, you were all I wanted,
I though you was lovely and sweet.
I dream t of nothing more,
than to sweep you off your feet.

But them times have come and gone,
I am sorry, but you arere too late.
I respect your friendship dearly,
would you not agree us being friends, has got to be fiat?

I want you to stop looking at me,
in that way you do.
You should let us just be friends,
Thats all I want from you.

---

2)

I shouldn't be in love with you,
we're suppose to be good friends.
But when I start to think of you,
I wish upon it to never end.

I find it hard not to be...
After I felt that electrifying spark,
at the gig, the other night,
when you kissed me in the dark.

When I asked if you still liked me,
in that way you did.
And you said you didn't know
I didn't know, what to do, so I just hid.

For hours on end, I sat in my room,
with the stereo on full blast.
With a pillow in front of my face,
as a sort of mask.

I know I wrote you that poem before,
telling you the opposite of this.
But can't a guy change his mind?
I want another kiss.

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Latest Comments

  • 11 years ago

    by ThebutterfliesMuse

    They are both super cute. I think the second poem flows better then the first one though. The first poem has a question we all want to ask the ones we love. Are we meant to be?. I loved that line because its a very real question. I love your endings as well because it makes the reader think again.. as in will the writer get together with their love. :) excellent first poem.

    I believe the the second poem is the stronger of the two. I love the feeling you decribed in the first stanza. We never want it to end when we feel like this for anyone. I love the spark wording in the second stanza. All it takes is a spark in anything we do.. well done there. I love how you expressed your hurt in your room. We all go through that sometimes and your wording is perfect to mask that. The ending is good not great though. You should wrap it up by leaving the reader more to think about like there is hope that they will get together and maybe put them together as sort of a story.
    Overall great though 5/5

  • 11 years ago

    by Dreamofolwin

    A most heartfelt poem...... expressing a lot of feelings that you have very well expressed... Well Done! :)

  • 11 years ago

    by Ale

    These are very nice poems. I like how the words flow, unlike mine. I hope you write something new soon.

  • 17 years ago

    by Jenna

    I really like these...you have a very wonderful talent!!! keep it up hun!

    MickeysBabyGurl

  • 17 years ago

    by Tenisha

    I loved it it was kind of like u thought about it and it showed like this cute before and after plot like scheme i just loved it u're really talented don't quite i love it

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