Being wth someone and just being with people, i feel drawn out and misplaced, i cant be happy with a someone unless part of me wants it to be him, not a sorrowful state it isnt indeed, but it has become the norm, to be sorrowful. till like all people one of the following happens :
you leave home/
get away from family/
make a family/
get that job/
start that diet/
complete that task.
it then leaves us in the constant state of wanting to achieve in the future, to then we forget about what is happening now, the present
able to sit with him and absorb his presence, hold his hand, the sensation of touch, a simple acknowledgment, that you exist, you are real. i dont have demons - i am a demon.
but why blame the family ? surely the defendent has a lot to play in this matter, surely the supposed victim sees her flaws in all she does and why she is fired at. yes-
if i now ask the judge for Order, it is now clearer to the defendent what must be so, everything under the skin, gnawing through the gums and bleed
