Confused

I am so lost
Are we together?
I hate the cost
Of our chance of being forever

I wish you'd tell me straight up
What is going on?
You're making my heart jump
And fall when you're gone

I'm not worth anything
All I get is disrespect
I'm just your plaything
With no intellect

I wish I didn't care
That I could just not think
So my heart wouldn't tear
And it'd all disappear in a wink

I wouldn't feel pain
I wouldn't feel grief
No more tear stains
And finally get some relief

To disappear in the night
And run from all my fears
To never see the light
And stop all the tears

I just want to get away
And not cry
To never see another day
And not want to die...