I like the idea behind the poem, but there's a lot of missing punctuation and it makes it difficult to read, and it's too simplistic in places to where it seems like you didn't try very hard or long as opposed to that was just what you were going for. I would have preferred the ending teach the reader something as well, other than just that fairytales don't seem to come true. That said, when I replied that I liked the idea at the outset, what I meant was the idea of the poem covering the two different and yet important points in the girls life, showing her going from being so innocent to losing maybe a little of that innocence, that was a very good idea/model I think for the poem.