Of Who Would I Dream

by xTheEcstasyOfSuicidex   Dec 28, 2006


I was ranting when I wrote this...My finacee and I just broke up. Enjoy. Sorry if it's not my best..
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Watch the morning dawn shine upon your face,
As the moon dies for the night.
You open your eyes with such beautiful grace,
And everything seems alright.
But of who would I dream,
If you were not here,
This is a theme,
And I am your knight of no fear.

Your gentle face, with smiling eyes,
My goreous stars, I can't explain,
I'll hold you forever until I die,
And together we'll die in the rain.
As the hours run away
With the time of tomorrow
I'll give you the day
And take away your sorrow.

As the sun rises deep in the sky
Know I'll always be with you
Forever by your side-
We'll make it through.
So of who would I dream
If you were not here
Of who would I dream
If you disappeared?

The shining stars in the sky
Gives away your dashing smile,
They brighten your very eyes,
When I hold you for awhile.
Maybe I''ll just dream of you,
Even if you're not here,
As morning brings the shining dew,
Our love is nothing to fear.

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Latest Comments

  • 17 years ago

    by Jenni Marie

    This was perfect!
    There was so much depth and emotion, and it flowed flawlessly.
    The imagery was just wonderful, as it always is.

  • 17 years ago

    by *Charisma*

    So sorry to the above message in your poem, but as far as the poem goes, it was very well done! It was beautiful and I loved the questions at the ending of each stanza. My one suggestion is to correct and balance the flow in ths stanza.
    As the sun rises deep in the sky
    Know I'll always be with you
    Forever by your side-
    We'll make it through.
    The second half of that stanza is fine, but the first half didn't sound right. Oh yeah, and when you say 'of who would I dream' isn't it 'of WHOM would I dream'? Just a typo I thought I saw.
    Overall, this was a great write!
    That is my second and final comment!
    Congrats again!
    Good job!
    Charisma*

  • 17 years ago

    by .K.i.T.t.Y.

    Wow, I really liked that. Your'e really good.

    o fyi last line. u had a " instead of '

    and uhm im sure u wanna change ur profile...

  • 17 years ago

    by Cindy

    This is really beautiful. You did an excellent job!

  • 17 years ago

    by Bryan

    I think it is very good, one of your best, has perfect flow, absolutely love it, i give it a 5/5!!!, keep it up!!!

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