by mazie Dec 30, 2006
category :
Miscellaneous /
Misc. poems
Once upon a time |
by *Charisma*
Um, most times i really enjoy your poetry but this piece wasn't a favorite of mine. I didn't like the ending where the child is referred to as a brat, because what did the child do? I guess it didn't make much sense to me. And you start this off like a poem written about the olden days and you used the term "her guy" which doesnt' sound like it fits this poem. I'm so sorry Mazie. HONESTLY, this is ONLY constructive criticism because your poem does have excellent flow and rhyme, my problem lies in the words themselves. But I'm still going to give you a good vote on it because it of it's flow and rhyme. I hope this helps, and I'm sorry to say this. :( Please keep writing though I do normally enjoy your items, and as always I LOVE your comments. You always make me smile! |