Hopeing

I'm hoping tomorrow the news Ive been waiting for is revealed, but if the news isn't what I expected the thought of suicide will linger in the back of my mind.
And twitch every so often, wanting me to just grab those pills and down them as fast as possible.

And if the worst thing in the world happens and you die. I'm worried I wont be the same anymore, and not be able to talk, laugh , smile anything.

I would just sit there still as can be my eye twitching as I remember our great memories together.
Sitting on your dock watching the stars. I hope you know I love you from the bottom of my heart to the tip of my nose.