The Perfect Way to Fall Asleep [Part 1]

Laying on this pillow next to you,
Is one of my dreams come true.
I signed every letter "I Love You,"
Wondering if you knew how true it was.

As I stare into the darkness,
In which I know you are in,
My mind ponders,
On what you must be thinking.

You reach out and brush away my hair.
"I hate to see you so unhappy" you say,
Your hand resting on my cheek.
As I speak "Why do you think that?"

Your loving touch starting to get to me,
You speak of something that happened,
In which didn't matter to me.
Then you speak as if you were the one who makes me unhappy.

"You could never make me unhappy,"
Holding your arm so you won't stop the touch.
We just lay there, the puppy in the middle
Jumps up and waddles to the end of the bed.

"You deserve the world, why don't you take it?"
You ask as if I'm a sinless saint.
"I don't deserve the world."
All words spoken at a whisper.

As your thumb outlines my lips,
You say with all the meaning in the world,
"Your so self-less."
As if I had given my world away.

"You're the one who deserves everything."
Is all I manage to get out.
I know your feeling it now.
"I'm just a liar, and a cheater, you say.

"There's so much good in you, I can see it."
I say "Everybody makes mistakes."
Every moment dragging,
As if the world had slowed to a stop for us.

Every minute getting heavier.
After what seems like forever,
You whisper "Sometimes I don't think before I do things."
My mind racing I say the first thing that comes to mind.

"Is that so bad?"
Meaning that maybe stick to your instincts,
Stick to your impulses,
"Maybe it's what you really want," I say.

My heart pounding so hard,
I'd be surprised if you couldn't feel it.
As you scoot a little closer,
The possibilities are killing me slowly.

Mind racing, pulse slowing, palms sweating,
You get up and lean in to kiss me.
I put my hands on your cheek,
And get so close but I find myself speaking.

Mulling over in my mind what you just said,
"You don't want to do this.."
I surprisingly find myself stopping you.
Half surprised, you ask "hy?"

"ou have Chris."
You don't say anything
But lean in to try again
Yet again, I feel myself stopping you

"You don't want to do this."
"You have Chris.*" is all I could say
"But I want you too" You breath out.
"You can't have both, you know that" I say.

CONTINUED IN THE PERFECT WAY TO FALL ASLEEP [PART 2]

*Name changed