Well, well, well... lol. This one was very well written, as I have told you. Great everything. Good work. 5.0/5

^ is she your happy friend? k.

don't be sad. i wanna sleep with common people.
lolz.
x

Jeffrey says:i was creepy once.

jeffrey says:then i pulled my pants back up, and it was over
jeffrey says:i was creepy once.

jeffrey says:then i pulled my pants back up, and it was over
jeffrey says:i was creepy once.

jeffrey says:then i pulled my pants back up, and it was over
jeffrey says:i was creepy once.

jeffrey says:then i pulled my pants back up, and it was over
jeffrey says:i was creepy once.

jeffrey says:then i pulled my pants back up, and it was over
jeffrey says:i was creepy once.

jeffrey says:then i pulled my pants back up, and it was over
jeffrey says:i was creepy once.

jeffrey says:then i pulled my pants back up, and it was over

lalalala.
i have nothing to say, when i do
i'll give you a vaguely decent comment on this.

plusssssssssssssssssssssss.
the song you're getting is like being happy in your pants. k?
it's like thinking about hot girls, and doing them. k?
it's like all the best things you've imagined, put into a song, k?k.

It's all about me.

that better? now you tell me.

Jeffrey....this poem is amazing and i love it...i especially love it cuz i can relate to it majorly (hehe)....but you will get a big comment soon on why i really really really love it...
yeah i know i over used "love it"

Okay so here's my opinion:

first section:
"praying that last night would not be repeated
felt no winds of change, not even a breeze"
-i like this part a lot....i just really do...i cannot really comment on this section too much, except that i like it and it is very emotional and very personal to you

section two: you amaze me
"just new found serrated edges on my soul
crafted to pierce delicate skin"
-like you already know these are my favorite lines of the poem.....the image it give me gives me goose bumps...i can see "your hazardous soul" hehe j/k....i can invision the contrast between a sharp, dangerous soul and the gentle, innocent skin of someone else....very good jeffness
- there is also something about this section i really really like....and i couldnt figure it out...but i finally did....except for the first line, each line has 8 syllables.....i don't know if you meant it....but it makes that section easy and ejoyable to read

section three: well i have a biased opinion on this section, bacause i know the person it is talking about very well ;-)
-but desides that i must say it is my favorite section....the word choice is perfect...each word is nicely placed and belongs,.... sometimes when a person wants a line to say something specific, a word is awkwardly placed in, and they have no other choice....but i dont see that in this section at all....your word choice is creative and allows this section to flow from one line to the next very well
-its also another powerful and emotional section

section four: great ending jeffrey, it has a little mystery, a little bit of unsurity of what is going to happen next.....its left to interpretation and imagination
- when i read this poem, the tone/mood/rhythym i read it in, changes in this section.....its as if you switch from story, reflection, thinking mode.....to thinking about yourself and what is to come and how it confuses you.. i like that
-i think this section flows very very very well....it rhymes very easily making it beautiful to read

so summary:
I LOVE THIS POEM. it is one of my favorites. this one is a little different from the rest. in others your word choice and the way they are written, allow several intepretations to be taking from them, and allow people to relate the poems to themselves. in this one it seemed/was very straight forward, and not left to much interpretation, except for the end.... in the others, before you explained your thinking behind them, i had 2 or 3 interpretations for each peom, but this one the interpretation i had, was the same as what you explained to me. sometimes that isnt a good thing, but i think in this case, it made the poem very good. it flows very well, rhymes nicely, the word choice is excellent. it is very emotional and it just gets better every time i read it. really nice job jeffness, keep em coming

pee ess- sorry about writing this like one of my rambling e-mails, but you like them so hopefully you dont mind.

pee ess ess- second freaking time i wrote this thing....it better send

Told you it was long :-)

Reminded me of me in high school.Great Job

Reminds me of how I feel most of the time. 5/5

So you haven't gotten a comment in a while, and it might make you sad cuz its not someone saying how good your poem is (which it should be cuz it is good)....but hopefully you will smile because it is from me......when are you gonna work on another poem? i'm ready to give another huuuuge comment ....of course only if i like it...hehe.....im gonna work on one too, but I haven't seen my inspiration much this past week ;-)....when auditions are over we are hanging out more okay?...k good hehe

I think our eyes look pretty good together dont you?.....hehe.......better than my tinyiny....haha....i cant wait until your next poem.....i was thinking.......we could do a back and forth story and you can still work on the poem....or maybe we can just continue our story.....oh and we need to do one together....and post it on both of our pages...like you do one line and i do one.....but it will be obvious who did what line....itll be like "one really good line, one crappy line, one really good line, one crappy line".....yeah you get it....but either way i wanna comment another poem....mwah

Mk. i'm watching Girl interrupted. mum recorded it for me ;| but we missed the beginning. it'sk. kinda seems like a poor version of one flew over the cuckoo's nest but it's still k. bye

Right so you signed off again....cuz you like to torture me....so i will tell you here....
I'm thinking about taking my last poem off....atleast till i fix it....it was just something I did really quick that morning and I didn't even have my eyes in.....it just seems really simple and choppy....I like the subject and the things I say....but I want to say it in a better way.
that picture still makes me smile. hehe
Heroes!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ner :D

JEFFREY!!! WHERE ARE YOU?!!??

I just wanna restate that this is one of my favorite poems.....kk thanks

Okay so i have decided. time for a new poem. get working on it. ooooh!! i just remembered i have to add to our poem! ooops :-S.
hope you are having fun at nana's and poppy's. (if you can call my grandmom nana, i can call yours poppy)

Im really sorry for being loud
and waking you up from your deep sleep
while you were dreaming of flying through clouds
i shouldnt have been making a peep
my mommy called and i forgot
that you could hear every word i said
so grumpy liked it not
that i made him get out of bed

jefferson you are so freaking sweet
and you make me laugh and smile a lot
the stuff you say is really neat
and when i ask you sing on the spot
you'll always be able to make me giggle
because its what you can so easily do
when im pinned on the ground ill squirm and wiggle
because when it comes to wrestling ill manage to beat you!

i hope you get so see velvet revolver
and i hope scotty wears something other than a cowboy suit
but something a little less revealing than in slither
something that will make me go "woot woot"
this summer is gonna be a lot of fun
and i don't wanna hear any objections
what better lighting than the light of the sun
cuz you know i dont listen to rejection

last night you made my head really big
in so many more ways than just one
you're "uber" goofy and wicked silly
dont worry this cheesiness is almost done
im excited to find my happy place
your a perfect finish to this stressful week
when i close my eyes at night i see your face
and you watch my smile stretch to its peak!

the end.......you know that was the best poem in the world.....super complex.....and flowed so perfectly!

After your oh so amazing concert with the oh so sexy scotty i demand you immediately begin working on a poem. because i like your poems. and it has been forever and a day since you have written one. feel better marshmellow head.
mwah!

Okay babe sooo.....we need to finish our poem so we can post it!!!!!!! sorry to be junking up your comments with my random thoughts. but it was about a poem so i thought it was only appropriate. <3