With Out A Soul

In certain parts I just want to know what is her problem, and the poem keeps me thinking, good.

This poem makes me want to hurt that guy! lol Great great great job!! loved it! you are an awesome writer!

Ciao

"With out" is one word. And without wanting to sound harsh, and as has already been said, there are some contradictions in the words that make me think you perhaps tried a bit too hard with this one. Her eyes are empty sockets, but they're also eyes of tears? Hmmm... sorry, but it just doesn't work for me.

I read through it thinking that what you needed to do here was get some personal metaphor in that we can all interpret to our own end, because the line "Her heart a beating disgrace" certainly hints at an ability with that aspect of writing.

Once again, good job. My only suggestion is you tend to repeat yourself too much in your poetry. Like moist eyes....and eyes of tears. It's really the same thought twice. Also, painful memories, and then thoughtless memories. Don't get me wrong, the poem was good, but i think the repetitiveness takes away from it a little.
Charisma*