Forgive me

I'll see you in hell
it's my fault you fell
i was so wrapped in my own bullshit
i ignored your needed fix
i blamed everything on you
thinking i was the one about to lose
this whole time i was kicking you while you were down
how did i miss your now permanent frown
i have so much to say to you
but you cant even look at me, because your eyelids are glued
i just want to apologize, please forgive me
but you cant hear me from your lifeless body
all i can see is your upper torso and head
everyone knows it should be me in that bed
now i'm losing my mind
why was i so blind
i'm lost without you
you didn't have a clue
if i could do it all again
i wouldn't sin the same sin
i dont have much time
before your eternally punished for my crime
standing in the back of the morgue
i pray to your lord
forgive me please
in front of everybody on my knees
i'll admit that i'm the basket case
and that i should be the one surrounded in casket lace
i would be gagged and bound
but i'm to late, you're already being lowered in the ground
as i read your eulogy in a hushed whisper
they all wonder why not her