A regret, and confession (part two)

I see your image through my tears tonight
as I have decided to let go of you for I love you too dearly to cause you any more pain and letting you go would be my only kind deed toward you fairy.
I shall not leave you in ignorance of my decision before I take leave so hear me out and judge me with your heart.
I neither ask you for pity or forgiveness, but what every one rightly deserves.
in my own selfishness, I tried to have your heart conquered as much you had mine under role. so once again little one I consulted my friend for a little advice. she in her sympathy quite encouraged me to make you jealous. Jealous, such a pitiful word it is..
I knew this would cause you sadness and take away your smile, so I rejected her idea but with her influence I agreed and made you believe in what didn't exist.
I was afraid of losing you...
my friend answered my uneasy thought
"for if I only wished to keep every one merry and cheerful then I shall be left in a dark corner and lose what I fear" said she
so I told you of another lover to win your affection, which i am gravely ashamed of.
but what care did you have, for you didn't in your heart have any place for me.
you had your heart caged and imprisoned in the hand of another.
I found no joy in deception or winning what you didn't willingly give.
I feared your unhappiness and a desire to bring back your joyful words, for your words had all dressed in mourning gown and your heart covered with sorrow.
so I let you unto my secret and my wrongly ill position.
I told you of my deception but to add to my great disappointment you told me of your marriage.
that night once again I lost every joy I had in life
every door was closed upon my face
faith failed me, and life seemed too unbearable
I shared it all with you and you asked me as to why am I so down
I told you of nothing, for you had nothing that had not taken away from me every joy of life.

I am no longer alone or broken hearted, but whole and complete
I have given my self over to God and to do nothing but what God encourages us.
it brings me comfort and peace of mind.
now i seem to understand what for so long I had been ignorant about
It is time for me to leave and wipe those unshed tears from my wary eyes
words fails me and I am losing hope for you and I must truly part

the light of our friendship you said is off so must I turn off mine

I am now left with a pen, paper and a light-less night
my mind is as helpless and deserted as my heart is.
I am writing what I feel unlike you and I
for it wasn't real
I write to the paper and speak to the men of the night thus I am unheard
all this because of you my dear fairy
you are no longer here thugh I beseech-ed and begged you
we are not meant to be together
so with this few live-less word
I wish to be an understanding between you and I
I know within my heart lies a paradise where a fairy, a poet and a wise men lives...