Without him

The night is still,
the wind is calm.
I sleep alone
without his warmth.
I reach into the darkness
only to feel nothing.
Without him at all,
Id rather go suffering.
Its hard to move on,
when he still has my heart.
He left my feelings hanging
from where he threw his dart.
lifeless without his touch,
dead without his presence.
Ive waited too long,
for the recovery of my conscious.
The head ached Ive endured
and my insanity rising.
Makes it hard for me
to stop crying.
The memories i have,
locked deep in my mind.
Are making me go crazy,
as i try to keep myself in line.
And every so often,
id say a prayer.
Only to receive no answer
which is completely unfair.
My feelings and my mind
dont make a perfect combination.
Id get myself lost so easily
I cant get to my planned destination.
And for a long while now,
Ive feared nothing but losing you.
And honestly as the days turned into nights,
you deviously outgrew.
&& no matter how hard I try
to wish you were here with me.
It'll never happen in my reality.