I Can't Watch You Lose Yourself;

by CondescendingHeart   Jan 5, 2007


I've lost the will to hold on,
And the strength to not let go,
I can't watch you lose yourself,
In ways you'll never know.

Your Hopeless apologies,
Which make me feel so weak,
I can't watch you lose yourself,
In the battle of thier critique.

Some how your wrapped around,
The words that plague your heart,
I can't watch you lose your self,
As you tear it all apart.

You used to stand so tall,
with a future fierce with success,
I can't watch you lose yourself,
With the fear you must impress.

As you stumble along your perfection,
thinking it's another flaw,
I can't watch you lose yourself,
Or forget I ever saw.

Your condescending ways,
And how you've always got more,
I can't watch you lose yourself,
In an unexspected war.

Please forgive me darling,
I can't seem to get past this,
I can't watch you lose yourself,
In a pain you swear exists.

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Latest Comments

  • 17 years ago

    by Ariana

    Apart from the spelling errors, i really liked this. Even though you repeat one line, it doesn't sound overused or cliched because each time it is written with a different feeling and intention. I am still trying to write this way! I liked the rhyme aswell (usually I'm not a big fan) it fit in and didn't come out as forced. Nice stuff :)

  • 17 years ago

    by TheWorldFellNUWerentThere

    5/5. I felt the emotion in this poem. GREAT WRITE!!

  • 17 years ago

    by BECCA lessTHANthree

    Wow.. amazing poem.. perfect flow and rhyming.. written really well.. i love how you repeat the titles through out the poem.. its a nice touch.. great job!

  • 17 years ago

    by Midnight Sun

    Comment for contest:

    Man! Great job with this...I love the repeating line and I loved the line in general. Great imagry and amazing talent. Keep it up! :)
    ~Midnight Sun

  • 17 years ago

    by Wings Of Flames

    Hey im one fo the girls from the comp.
    this si pretty darn good. and im not trying to butter you up!

    lol. keep it goin and I dont think i have anything to critique.

    -emma

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