Phone call...

The phone rings....
But only to hear
The voice of my head
Repeating
"He'll never change.."
It's hard to just not care
When your own flesh and blood
Doesn't call on christmas
On your birthday
Or even after the most painful situation
That you have in your life so far
It still burns in me
Thinking nothing I do
Will ever make him proud enough
To put me at number one on his list
It still hurts
To think that my own dad
Chooses alcohol over me
It hurts to say "I love you.."
When inside I know I don't
This feeling will never go away
Just like the mistakes he's already made
In the end
I'll never stop hearing that phone ring
Wishing it was him
To tell me
He truly is sorry for everything
But ignorance is bliss for him
Because all along
He's never stopped
Making his little girl cry...