All I feel is pain, and hate towards all who love me... all I want to do is drink my pain away and swallow my fears cause all I fear is the loss of the ones that love me but I can not love them for I am not worthy of their love and care for all I am is a diasaster waiting to happen a catastrophe going to happen and if I let them in far enough they will be connected and if I were to break they would be hurt and I can\'t bare that burden 4 no one should feel the pain of such great size and grief for I know how it feels and that is why I must not luv or be luved I shall be cold and uncaring and not let the real me show cause all I will do is break down and want to be luved but I can not do that and all I feel at this second is hate hostility and disgust with my self and those who think they know of such pain and of me when all they know is what has been taught to them throughj skewl church and their imagineative minds
