A happy sun that represents the night

What would you do
If I told you my heart is torn in two
By the choice of safety
I've know for a long time

Or the mystery of danger
The fascinating thing
About the trouble in the eye
The wisdom from the downside of life

I know I shouldn't hurt you like this
You did nothing to deserve
To be treated like I treat you, I should
Be the one that gets stabbed in the back

But I can't help myself
Is it so wrong to doubt
Where your heart belongs
If you just found out you apparently had one

I lived on the downside for whole my life
until you pulled me back up
While I just wanted to stay down
We canâ??t walk the same line

I was so used of falling down
That I find it hard to fly
Even with you by my side
I can't spread my missing wings

And I feel guilty, if that can be a comfort
It's not enough to be an excuse
Cowardly spoken sorry and
I didn't mean it that way

But my dark side can impossibly
Stay alive in the light you offer
It only wishes to hide
From your love, just because it's true

The happy smile I see
On your face when I look at thee
Delights me often
But now it kills

I wake up from tormented sleep
Sometimes the choice seems clear
Then my destiny seems near
Now I can't make up my mind

As I feel the night growing
Inside my soul
And when the light gets lost
My heart stops beating for you

Then it's given to all what's bad
All that seems troubled
The dark in me searches without end
The mystery and beauty in pain

The daylight has shined a long time
But it loses its upper hand
When the battle rages without end
The fight of worries and common sense

The duality between safety and action
The safety of your arms
Against the difference in bad
And the mystery of long lost hope

I never knew how to show any emotion
Now I can show some, only the happy ones
Although the depressed are bigger
Not in amount but in grip

I can't be a happy sun
While I represent the night
I can't hold you close
If you only stay in the light