It's getting harder to tell the difference between what is real and what is fake. Everyone around me has become decent actors, but I tend to catch their slightly crooked smiles and deceptive ways. Lies constantly slip through my cautious and sometimes gullible strainer and in the process of the lie I realize what a mindless fool I am for believing, but then there is always the possibility of a misunderstanding of the truth that I may miss so I just keep my mouth shut and question everything I "know" and "trust" to be true in silence. The struggle between what my mind knows and believes and what my heart wants and needs has been tough to take knowing that if I choose one I may be choosing one that will lead to the suffering of my soul. People make it intensely difficult and sometimes they realize it, but still insist on playing with your head. Sorting out the truths from the lies becomes a grueling task making the effort pointless at times because the lies are extensive and the truths are not always complete or are always questionable...
