Lost

Lost in my own lie and hate 4 myself, I feel as Im living in my own hell
I have a man that adores me so, so why did I have to go stumble on to some one a little more grown, so now your the latest guy is in my life, at first it was all fun and games but now, your making me think, what the hell am I doing it composes me to sickness,
To know I have a man that worships me so, and Im of amongst you, someone i dont really know,
All the things Ive done this is by far the worst, with you Ive done noting close to what I have done with my lover,
And now Im having modest thoughts about this, and you seems like you want to end it,
but why do I feel so died, use, when I was the one that was using you?
And why do I still want you, when I know were just wrong noting but bad new can come from me and you? I hate being lost in my own hell and worst of all still wanting to be there