Standing There

Looking at him with hate in my eyes
though I love him, its his actions I despise
He sees me staring, he knows hes done wrong
All this pain and anger I've held in for too long

I can no longer wait for you I say
he looks at me as if I was the one who threw us away
He tells me its my fault were not together
when deep down inside he knows better

I must admit that I did start to cry
because being around him makes me want to die
thinking of the way he walked out on me that night
and how he acts so mean whenever he comes in sight

It just drives me crazy, I don't know what to do
I love this man, but I'm tired of playing his fool
He takes advantage of me, day after day
He knows that it hurts me when he treats me that way

I can't understand why my feelings have not changed
Everyone gets mad at me, they think that I'm strange
they tell me to get over him start doing what is right
but how can I move on when he was my life

He was everything I needed, he was the air that I breath
it was never about money it is only him that I need
He told me I was on a pedestal, but that had changed
he said that was no longer my place, since things are not the same

He told me he was mad, for alot of stupid things
things that shouldn't matter but it matters to him it seems
Like rumors of people claiming to know who I am
lies is what he believed and for that I don't understand

He lets the lies poison him and block out what he feels
And partying with sum friends helps his heart heal
while I'm at home raising, the children that we have
hes out not caring and thats what gets me so mad

He doesn't realize the enormous amount of pain
he blocks everything out and thats just a shame
I want to reach out to him but I'll be turned away
so I hold back, I don't want to be rejected again today

So I'm standing there staring, my eyes are full of tears
just thinking of our struggles and thinking about the years
we been through hell and back but never ever stayed
and now were trapped in hell while the love we once shared fades