This is very well written. your poem flows well and the word choice is perfect. you did a great job in getting your point across. beautiful work!

Well i hope that you win the contest because that was amazingly writen.

This poem is amazing! i love how u used the title at the end of all of them... and i really really like the end where the screaming eyes turned into the softened eyes. great job! 5/5!
Good luck with the contest!

*Shawte*

I think this is a very good poem mousie, i loved it, reminded me of a kyrielle, flows great, 5/5!!! i think this is a great poem for a contest, keep it up!!!

All I can say is WOW...this is sumting serious you got here. I love the way you ended the poem it sort of hits you because things seem to become ok eventually...GREAT POEM

Wow i think this is definetly contest material : ) i'm doing that with some of my poems to, because i need scholorships, good luck!

Gee is all i can say. so much emotion. this just makes me wonder how you can write so good. lucky you.

you have a gift. you have two. one is that you can write so well and the other is that i voted as well (always do) and gave you a perfect 5.

david

Another great write.

Very powerfully written peice, the repitition really enforcied the point which you were making and the descriptions and clearity of the plot really added to it's overall power.

5/5

Absolutely beautiful! I loved every word of this poem, and the meaning behind it made it that much better. You have quite a talent, great work.

--Steph

I like reading this poem...i love how screaming eyes of beasts softens...keep up the good work... :)5/5

Ok so I guess I have to be serious with this one, ey?
It is very good, and I think your metaphor for society is clever. It's one that should help you on your way to winning, in theory.
Ok, ok any suggestions (I'm going to be nit picky now, only because you need all areas analysed as it's a contest poem)...
Depending on the standard of the contest, judges may feel "souls" leans towards cliche, just simply because it's a common word in poetry.
On the first line of the last stanza, "but" isn't completely necessary (though it's fine if you choose to keep it)...Also, high literacy educators bla bla bla say using "ly" on the end of words is bad English so in which case you may want to rethink "certainly." See, knit picky, I use "ly" all the time because I'm naughty and frankly don't care lol but if this is in a serious contest everything must be considered.
You used a good example of light overcoming dark on the second line of the last stanza...so maybe "sunshine to society" is just repeating yourself? Just another idea.....
At the moment I can't think of anything else...but if you think about what I've rambled on about and I'll come back to it again if you want lol.
Take care and the best of luck with this poem in the contest.

I really enjoyed this poem...I think that the meaning was a litle hard to pull but the vivid description was there and gave me a great pictureof what is happening in the poem. 5/5

Another brilliant poem.