My Final Decision

All around me is filled with black
I've walked a path that I can't turn back
my world is falling apart at the seams
nightmares taking the place of my dreams

I don't wanna live, I look for my death
look for the reaper to steal my last breath
I've lost my sole reason to bother going on
no one will care or notice once I'm gone

Currently I don't see or know a reason why
'cause it seems like I'm living life just to die
put on this earth to go through h**l and then some
destined to fall in love with just one and only one

Fate's turned around, and stabbed me in the back
she's been stolen away from me, a vital element I lack
I don't know why I should bother living without this girl
she's me entire life, and my entire world

Standing upon the edge of a deep dark abyss
about to be graced by death's cold kiss
not turning back I'm walking forwards now
not stopping, none of you can know how

She made my sky blue, and my sun shine
I'd been so proud to say that she was mine
and now she's gone so I'm stuck in perpetual night
this system, this fate I'm powerless to fight

From Connecticut to England, thousands of miles
but in my few good dreams, she still smiles
she's waiting for me, her arms waiting wide open
then I wake up in mid-night, caught reaching and groping

All in a dream, our love is now a scar upon my heart
and the lack of this girl is tearing me apart
I don't wanna live, I don't wanna stay here
I wanna give in, and just usher death near

Love I was given, and it was stolen away
I was filled with pain, each following day
everything reminds me of her, now I wanna die
anything to make it so I don't have to cry

I'm done living life in perpetual pain
I'm done living life going almost insane
fed up with the false hopes and false visions
the knife is starting it's final incisions
I'm killing myself, no one is stopping me
suicide is now my final decision