Realized

Changing who I am
Changing my identity
I do not want to be who I am
I do not want to live this life

I want to be different
I want to be free
Seeing all the obstacles
And running in fear

I do not think I can make it through
I want to turn back and end this now
Changind who I am
So I don't have to face my fears

Looking back I see my mistakes
Looking back I see what brought me here
Looking forward at the obstacle
Looking forward at my worst fear

I just want this to be over
I just want to leave now and never come back
I shut my eyes in a hopeless effort
To make everything vanish and never come back

I open my eyes shocked to see
That the scene changed
I am back in my room
With the blade inches from my skin

I throw it across the room
I stand up and run to my mom
"I love you and always will," I say
She nods not quite understanding

Tears stream from my eyes
I know now that I can never go back
I can never make those mistakes again
I sigh with relief and walk away