Failing Fingers

Sitting here,
alone inside.
Away from the world,
a dark room to hide.

Removing my baggage,
leaving it at the door.
Grasping the razor blade,
I can't take anymore.

My hands are sweaty,
my mind is racing.
My body is twitching,
my heart is pacing.

I try to make a cut,
my fingers slipped
I am still alive,
just bleeding a little bit.

Why am I failing?
Why am I still here?
Then a spirit showed up,
my mother is near.

How dare you break a promise,
why do you want to die?
I didn't mean to leave you,
I wish I was alive.

My mother came closer,
she gave my forehead a kiss.
I looked down at the cut,
she healed my wrists.

She said she would look after me,
even when she died,
She didn't want me to join her,
she wanted me alive.

Oh how i miss you mother,
my memory is a candle light.
You saved my blood,
you saved my sight.