Not bad. But, it was a little choppy if you know what I mean. I may go as far as saying it was a little forced... But still good, Here's a 4. You painted quite an image.

This poem is depressing but good... 5/5...if you get the chance you should read and rate one of my poems....i think you would like "The Lies" or "Who To Love" the best

Good job dude!