You know earl, you could become very popular if you went to the disscussion board. Request to read/comment poems. Go there, make deals like do one of my i'll do three of yours.. something like that.. and you'll get more advice and such n such... on poems. My advice for you is, Set your poems up as poems.. this isn't so bad but like your paragraphs.. no.. because no one likes reading a paragraph, make stanzas. Like for this put it as:

My emotions used to be filled,
With happiness and glee.
Because I knew that you'd
Always be there for me.

I woke up every morning,
Excited I mean you can tell,
Because the tone in my voice
-I- couldn't hide it. -very well-

----
rhyme this stanza like the last one
----

I'd go through the day
-Act- like nothing better,
Can come along my way.
Wishing that this feeling,
can never end,
and continue eternally.

-- make even amount of lines in each stanzas.. like usually mine are four lines to each stanza. Rhyme like your first. It makes it flow better --

Until that unfortunate day,
When I made a mistake.
When I broke your heart,
And made mine ache.

I begged for your forgiveness,
Telling you it was a mistake,
But it was to late,
I hated this cruel fate.

I dreaded that moment
From beginning with no end.
It's even harder now
Cause it feels like were not even friends. -Cause were not even friends-

I missed holding your hand,
Hugging you tight
Letting others know
I'm your man.

-rhyme it-

I miss the tenderness
Of your kiss,
But this is the feeling
I truly miss.

I truly miss
The heavenly bliss
Of your love.
Now I pray -to- the man
Up above
To once again be the man
That you -once- love-d-.

I go through the days
Like never before,
I feel as if
There's no happiness in store,
And all I really want to do,
Is knock on death-'-s door

Because honestly this emotional pain I can't take any more, and its seems that it's requesting death to not hurt anymore.

---- I'd write it like this----
Because this pain,
I can't take any more,
And its seems as if,
I'm requesting death,
Not to hurt anymore.

------

Okay.. earl.. Capitalize each letter in the beginning of each line.. I don't know why but your suppose to do that.. beautiful poem by the way.. It helps the flow if you count your syllables... make sure they are around the same number like 7,6,8 dont do one with 5 and another will 11.. bad flow. I hoped this helped some. Ask for help. It will be given.

Btw.. thanks for the comment... you should read my newest poem.. footprints.. its a love one.

5/5